The meaning of the word ‘friend’ is as deep as translating it into deed is as difficult. In the life’s journey we meet hundreds of people and now Facebook is bringing thousands of friends to our contact. Our relations with them keep on getting made and broken at different levels. Strangers become known people and on the other hand either demands of the time or circumstances make known people appear strangers. We do not have the same level of intimacy with all the people we come in contact with, nor is it possible.
Many people are in a great hurry in making friends. Their acquaintanceship turns immediately into friendship. They consider it as their specialty, their popularity. It is possible that an intimacy generated in a hurry has given you a true friend, but it may be an exception also. And life is not lived with exceptions. It is also possible that your friendship that occurred in a hurry has poor basis and foundation. Afterwards you may feel that you are not an expert in the art of making friends. Getting a true friend is like winning a war of life. Sometimes we are attracted to someone like a magnet. The person you want to make friend with, also is eager to become your friend. Sometimes intuition works. Sometimes it also happens that no matter how good a friend you are, but if your friend is not honest towards you, the whole efforts goes waste like taking oil out of sand. You should solve the serious problem of making a good and true with depth and judgment.
Consider your long-term interest and a keen eye to measure if a friendship of a certain person is good for you or not. Your friends define your personality. People judge you by the kind of people you hang out and kind of friends you have. It is said that it is difficult to meet crisis in life without friends. Therefore, it is necessary to have good friends, but it is better to have no friends than a bad friend, because hanging around with good or bad person is bound to leave a mark upon you.
The most important thing is that two friends should have trust and have a sensitive outlook. A true friend will never has feeling of competition or revenge.
Many times, people give the example of a good friend and say that a friend should be like this or friendship should be like that. Our scriptures are full of qualities of a good friend. They say that a good friend tries to bring out the qualities of his friend into light. A good friend accepts his friend with his good and bad points. Good friends are not born, they are cultivated. The creeper of friendship should be irrigated with cooperation and goodwill. The most important thing is that two friends should have trust and have a sensitive outlook. A true friend will never has feeling of competition or revenge. The success of a friend will not create jealousy or hatred, but he will feel proud and regard those successes as his own.
To become a good friend, it is very necessary that one should not let a feel friend small in the face of one’s wealth and glory. The friendship of Krishna and Sudama is remembered in this context. A man can err, your friend can also make mistakes. Don’t make an issue of every small mistake. If you know, when one should remain silent, when one should speak, how much and how to, then this quality of yours will keep your friendship enjoyable.
Don’t take your friendship for granted and interfere in everything that your friend does so much that he gets bored of you. Every relationship has a border, whether it is family or friendship. Your sensibility and farsightedness lie in that you don’t violate these borders. Only then your friendship will be stable, able to grow and mature. It should not happen that in your carelessness you are not able to get a good friend or even after getting a true friend you lose him. It is not necessary that that two friends have same tastes or hobbies. There can be a lot of differences of opinion on many topics, there can even be arguments, but if you have mutual intimacy, love and faith in each other, then it may appear for a while that the knot of friendship has come loose or broken, but such bitter tension cannot stay long and the normalcy in your relationship will come back.
Good friends are not sold in the market place so that you can give the asking price after finding out good and bad points and haggling with the shopkeeper and buy him. Good friends are found after a great difficulty. And when you get it, it is like a blessing. Everything pales against his greatness. True friendship lies outside the boundaries of differences of high-low, caste-creed, rich–poor and big–small.
The Author: Vina Bhatia is a literary activist. She is the Founder Director of Sahitya Chayana, which is a literary organization engaged in publishing and popularizing books. In addition, she has been involved in teaching at higher education level as well as working in the field of children’s education. She can be contacted at email: email@example.com and Mob. 9013510023.